How Financial Instability Shaped My Identity
The Price of Self-Worth: How Financial Instability Shaped My Identity
I never realized how much my self-worth was tied to my financial stability until I found myself staring at my bank account, feeling completely worthless. Talk about a low point. It wasn’t just the numbers on the screen that unsettled me, it was what they represented. Reviewing the account actualized the feeling of having spent years equating success with financial security, and without it, I felt like I had failed.
Growing up, I had older parents and they drilled that hard work and education would lead to a comfortable life. The thing is, I checked all the right boxes, meaning I earned my degrees, landed jobs that made sense on paper, and even set ambitious financial goals. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, there were moments when money felt like sand slipping through my fingers. We all know adulting is hard, for me, the weight of student loans, unexpected expenses, and the unpredictable nature of the economy left me questioning my decisions and capabilities and, most times, my self-worth.
One of the biggest struggles was navigating these emotions in a society that measures success in monetary terms. In America, we love the flashy things, and as a southern girlie, we love everything big and bold. With that, whenever I was financially comfortable, I walked with confidence. But when my finances were shaky, I second-guessed everything. I hesitated to take up space in conversations about wealth, business, and investments. I felt like an imposter, even though I had the knowledge to contribute from working in the financial services industry.
The financial stress started creeping into other areas of my life such as my relationships, my mental health, and as a creative spirit it was detrimental for my ability to dream big. I declined invitations to networking events because I couldn’t justify spending money on a ticket or transportation. I withdrew from friends because I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling. I became angry and irritable because I couldn't understand how and why I got to this point. Worst of all, I felt disappointed in myself as I'd lost sight of the fact that my value as a person was never meant to be tied to my bank account.
As a result, it took a long time to untangle the connection between money and my self-worth. I had to unlearn the belief that financial struggles equated to personal failure. I started listening to visualize my goals and take bite size steps to cut out the negative triggers. Upon doing this I began focusing on what I could control, such as educating myself on financial psychology, setting realistic goals, and seeking community with those who understood that wealth isn’t just about numbers.
When you ultimately look at it, financial stability is important, but it doesn’t define who we are. If you’ve ever felt less than because of a financial setback, know that you are not alone. Know that you have the ability to change the future of your bank account and the ability to confidently stride to financial success. Your worth is not measured by your income, savings, or investments. It’s measured by your resilience, your ability to adapt, and the value you bring to the world beyond the dollar sign.
We all have a story, some are far worst than others, and some are stories who made us the success we are today. Feel free to share your thoughts below on how you managed to breakthrough your financial instability and overcame the discouragement it presented.
